A mid-life crisis at age 18

Oh crap. I did it again.

So I was in a “service-learning” class. Where I go and teach biology to middle schoolers. Not only that, but we were required to blog about our experiences in a private, school-run blog.

Our final blog had to be “reflective.” Talk about what we learned overall. And of course, what do I do? I draw another comic. This is such a terrible habit.

I started it out like this: (click for full size)

(She did. She suggested we draw a stick figure of “me from August” and “me right now.” So I complied! And thus I drew this:)

So, yes. I am in the middle of a mid-life crisis. In other words,

I think I knew this from the very beginning, but I’m not the type of person who could be a doctor. Becoming a doctor is a huge commitment. You have people’s well-beings in your hands. To be a doctor, you must be kind. Confident. Compassionate. Patient. Empathetic.

I’m just… well, I’m just not any of those things.

Being a doctor is an amazing and admirable thing, but I don’t think I could handle it. I don’t have the people skills. I’m incredibly impatient. I lack the kindness. And, when I think about becoming a doctor, it never really appeals to me.

I mean, my only real motive for pursuing pre-med would be

And of course, this is not the best reason to become, well, anything.

So I’ve got to be frank with myself. I’m not cut out to be a doctor. I’m just not that person. It’s a job that I feel like I, well, wouldn’t enjoy at all. But of course, since I no longer have pre-med as my path, I am now thrown into

It’d be so much easier if I just had a solid, clear-cut goal to work towards. I might not be a wonderful person who wants to HELP EVERYONE!… but I definitely am a workaholic. I just need to find something that I’m both passionate about and can make money with. It’s the combination of the two that’s the real problem.

(By the way, I’m not changing my major or anything. Bio is pretty interesting. And truly, this isn’t a groundbreaking change. Since biology majors cover all the pre-medical required classes, I could always decide I’m pre-med at any time. But I’m done fooling myself. That’s all.)

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9 thoughts on “A mid-life crisis at age 18

  1. Happy you realized you don’t want to be a doctor/dentist now. Just do what makes you happy, if crazy annoying people who whine aren’t your thing, then you probably shouldn’t be a doctor. Do what feels right for you. Money will come on it’s own to those with talent and a work ethic.

    Enough of the fortune cookie talk… Vy, you have POWERFUL forearms. In all of your comics.

    xD Have fun being a globe trotting climatologeneticomicbookrtist. Yeah. YOU CAN DO IT NAO!

    • If only I could be a globe trotting climatologeneticomicbookrtist, my life would be set! All I know is that dealing with crazy middle schoolers is not my deal!

      And yes… I have powerful forearms! I work out. Nbd. 😉

  2. Aw, Vy! Even if you don’t become a doctor or go on to med school, it doesn’t mind you’re not kind/a good person! I’ve always found you to be humorous, sweet, and very open minded. So don’t worry TOO much about it.

    Hmmmmmm. I MAKE SUGGESTION NOW. I went to this career conference at the community college a while back and there was this kick-ass forensic scientist..red lipstick and cheetah print pumps under her lab coat. I laughed. She was super interesting and enjoyed her job quite a bit, and she had been a Biology major. Something to consider!

  3. Oh, Vy. You’re such an amazing person, and you don’t give yourself so much of the credit that your due. And okay, service learning didn’t work out. And maybe medicine isn’t your calling. But all of those things you listed that doctors are and you are not? Well, that’s complete bullshit.

    Don’t be a doctor. If you don’t want to, then that’s your call to make. People can tell you that you’d make a great doctor or whatever, but they’re not going through the gauntlet of med school, you are!

    And David is incredibly right. As Steve Jobs said in his Stanford Commencement speech, “Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don’t settle.”

    This is the downside to science. Especially biology. It takes such a long time for something to succeed in biology, for research to find cures, develop vaccines, understand genes, and so on. But science has its perks too. You’d be making a difference, and sometimes that difference is even more so than as a doctor, since the research that you might add to could change everything about how we live our lives. Yes, it might take a while, but you’re going to one day find that house filled with game systems and manga one day. Also there are a ton of consultation jobs that pay scientists incredible amounts of money, so there’s hope for you yet!

    And lastly in my nonsensical rant, is the fact that college is where you find yourself. I’m starting to figure out who I am, separated from everything I knew. And, Vy, in this endeavor as dangerous as any in my shiny covered books, you’ll find your way, I’m sure of it.

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