A mid-life crisis at age 18

Oh crap. I did it again.

So I was in a “service-learning” class. Where I go and teach biology to middle schoolers. Not only that, but we were required to blog about our experiences in a private, school-run blog.

Our final blog had to be “reflective.” Talk about what we learned overall. And of course, what do I do? I draw another comic. This is such a terrible habit.

I started it out like this: (click for full size)

(She did. She suggested we draw a stick figure of “me from August” and “me right now.” So I complied! And thus I drew this:)

So, yes. I am in the middle of a mid-life crisis. In other words,

I think I knew this from the very beginning, but I’m not the type of person who could be a doctor. Becoming a doctor is a huge commitment. You have people’s well-beings in your hands. To be a doctor, you must be kind. Confident. Compassionate. Patient. Empathetic.

I’m just… well, I’m just not any of those things.

Being a doctor is an amazing and admirable thing, but I don’t think I could handle it. I don’t have the people skills. I’m incredibly impatient. I lack the kindness. And, when I think about becoming a doctor, it never really appeals to me.

I mean, my only real motive for pursuing pre-med would be

And of course, this is not the best reason to become, well, anything.

So I’ve got to be frank with myself. I’m not cut out to be a doctor. I’m just not that person. It’s a job that I feel like I, well, wouldn’t enjoy at all. But of course, since I no longer have pre-med as my path, I am now thrown into

It’d be so much easier if I just had a solid, clear-cut goal to work towards. I might not be a wonderful person who wants to HELP EVERYONE!… but I definitely am a workaholic. I just need to find something that I’m both passionate about and can make money with. It’s the combination of the two that’s the real problem.

(By the way, I’m not changing my major or anything. Bio is pretty interesting. And truly, this isn’t a groundbreaking change. Since biology majors cover all the pre-medical required classes, I could always decide I’m pre-med at any time. But I’m done fooling myself. That’s all.)