Guys, I confess: I’m on Weight Watchers.

You know what?

I’m just going to say it.

I’m doing Weight Watchers.

Whew. Okay. It’s out. Now you know.

Yeesh, I can already hear my friends:

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Well, actually, I’ve been on Weight Watchers for about 2 months.

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Um.

Sorry guys.

Here’s the thing:

For the last two years of college, I haven’t been, well, the healthiest. I go to the gym a lot, but I also love to eat. A lot. I don’t eat too poorly (I love fruits and veggies) but I also eat tons of rice and bread and I love pastries.

And so, for the last two years, my weight has been steadily creeping upwards. Not fast, mind you. I didn’t get the freshman fifteen.

More, like, uh. The freshman five?

Last semester particularly wrecked havoc on my health. I had to cook for myself for the first time. I barely went to the gym. I was stressed and sleep deprived.
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My mom became seriously worried. Or maybe she was just being a pretty standard Asian-American mother. But at least she’s concerned for me, which is always comforting to know.
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Most of the time, I just ignore my mom and tell myself that it’s whatever. But I really do eat– a ton— and it was getting hard to ignore.

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I was in denial and I knew it. The irony is that I spent a year writing a ridiculous comic about weight loss. I continued to tell myself I was fine– until one night, at my friend’s dorm…
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I don’t think I’m particularly fat– but I could be. And I was getting there. Then, last February, my doctor told me that I was on the border between normal and overweight. 

It was time to reverse the trend.

So.

I know, I know: I’m paying for a weight-loss service like a chump. I should just eat salads and exercise more, right? I don’t have hundreds of pounds to lose, after all. My problem, though, is that I have no willpower. I’ve tried free calorie-counting tools like MyFitnessPal (which I actually used the entire time I wrote and drew Minus One) but I just couldn’t stick to it. I couldn’t commit.

If I literally put my money where my mouth was, though, maybe I could get some motivation.

That, and the fact that I told my mom.

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Thus I signed up for Weight Watchers.

Not for their weekly meetings, mind you. Only their online tools. I was actually ready and rarin’ to join a Weight Watchers group– but then I went to one as a trial run.

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I guess the meetings just weren’t for me. (They do work for a lot of people, though!)

So now, I have the Weight Watchers online tools on my iPod. I’ll be honest: I’m impressed! The site, in addition to giving you a tool to track your food with, provides recipes, exercise tips, success stories for all ages, general healthy living tips, and… dang, I sound like a paid advertisement. But, I’ve been trying. I really have! For example, instead of cooking

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I’ll make something like

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I used to go to the gym to do this:

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But now, I’m challenging myself. I’ve been going to fitness classes regularly to be schooled by the 60-year old women.

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And you know what? It’s working. It was hard at first, but somehow, Weight Watchers actually seems to work and I’ve actually been able to lose weight without starving myself. I appreciate how the program measures your daily intake of food based on macronutrients, not calories, and how it emphasizes that you can still eat things you like– but in smarter portions.

It’s totally strange, too. I spent 9 months writing a comic about weight loss and the benefits you can get from it. You know, like increased energy, boosted mood, and better sleep.

The comic is fictional. Yet I’m experiencing it in real life.

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I’ve even been experiencing the same problems Max went through.

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It’s a pretty bizarre feeling. 

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I’ll be honest with you: I’m not the strong-woman-who-don’t-care-what-no-one-thinks that I wish I was. Teenage girls tend to obsess over their weight. We also have a tendency to tell our friends to YOLOI’m completely guilty of this.

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Therefore, for the last two months, I’ve kept my Weight Watchers endeavors private. Not because I think trying to lose weight and be healthy is embarrassing– but because I knew I wouldn’t have the willpower to withstand

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But for the past two weeks, I’ve been slipping up a bit. I’ve hit a… plateau? And while these weight-loss plateaus can be attributed to things like slowed metabolism, less lean muscle mass, etc, etc, etc…

I know why it’s happened.

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I’ve concluded, then, that I need to put it out there. I have to increase my accountability. The more people who know, the more people I’ll have to answer to. And now, two months in, I know I should be able to withstand any friend telling me that “I don’t need to do this.”

Because I know I don’t need to do this. I want to. I want to be healthy, and look better, and feel generally good. And I don’t think that’s anything to be ashamed of.

So this is my declaration. This is it. I’m the most confident person– believe it or not, I doubt myself all the time–

But this is one goal that I’m going to achieve.