F#ck yeah, more Engrish

For more photos from my Japan trip, check out my tumblr!

I know I posted Engrish earlier— but those were only from what I found in Tokyo. I hadn’t even been to Kyoto and Sapporo. So, now that my trip is over, and my Engrish collection is complete, here goes! 

The best of the poorly translated English I found:

Please multiply the voice by a near staff when it is tried on:

Getting in an adult mood:

There were actually a bunch of various shirts containing the phrase “getting in an adult mood.” Is it, like, a thing?

No scribbling here:

Let’s quench insensibility and indifference to fire!

Do not use fire:

Just to reemphasize. No fire!

Love horse:

Love bear:

Because one wasn’t enough.

Mow: Back Style:

Two wasn’t enough either.

I will enjoy a leg fashion:

(Flash up your cool leg style!)

On Broadway:

Sit down with your legs spread out wide:

Along those lines, here’s another friendly PSA from Japan:

If it were anything but a cigarette, it would surely be crying:

There’s no shame in having a thing on your body, even though you may dream of excising it:

No need to dress like a bunny.

 Hully Potter’s Prorogue:

And my personal favorite:

Erectonic-piano:

Just what I wanted!

Just because y’all are so nice, I’m going to throw in a bonus image. There’s no Engrish on it, mind you– nor is there even English— but I thought it was worth a shout-out.

How to use a Western toilet:

Just for those who didn’t know.

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Engrish

My family.

Immigrated from Vietnam.

Therefore, English is their second language. (I was born and raised here in America, however.)

My relatives, then, speak fluent, but perhaps not perfect, English. Occasionally this results in hilarity. Take, for example, how my uncle tried to abbreviate “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star:”

…though anyone who’s taken a math class knows that “twinkle to the third power” would result in “Twinkle Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.” Hmm.

Similarly, “Ode to Joy” became

…and my cousins and I laughed the entire night.

My favorites, though, are some movie DVDs we have laying around. My sister and I left it up to our dear ol’ family to label them, with some comical results. For instance, we’ll often find movies labeled “CF,” or “chick flick.” As my dad phrased it, a “warning label to let me know not to watch it.”

Alternatively, you can drop all plurals with us:

Just one Ring. Just one tower.

Enjoy some “dairy” with Bridget Jones…

…Or perhaps search for a “spork” with the Star Trek crew.

Spock is nowhere to be found, but now we have a multi-function utensil!

This one definitely is my favorite, though. Feast your eyes on this wonderfully fobby label:

Though all are minor errors, our parents’ English is no doubt a source of endless entertainment for my cousins and I. Perhaps we shouldn’t poke so much fun at our aunts and uncles, but the temptation is irresistible. And it goes both ways: just as I make fun of my family’s English, my family will tease me for my poor Vietnamese. (Which, by the way, is absolutely terrible and has much more cause to be made fun of than my family’s English. Cheers!)