Things guys shouldn’t do

My roommates and I. We are a little harassed. By who? Why, our counterparts of the opposite gender. For often… they are idiots.

So we’d like to put up a little proposal. All guys– dudes– bros— whatever you like to call yourselves– need a little… help. A female life advisor, as one of my roommates eloquently phrased it. We’ll start with a little list– of what you guys should never, ever, under any circumstances, do to a girl you’re trying to pick up. Because it didn’t work on us. And it’s not going to work on anyone.

And finally,

A bit specific? Yes. Tip of the iceburg? Absolutely. Where do guys get these ideas? I don’t know.

And so girls (and boys) what sort of insanity have the opposite gender (or same gender, of course) tried to pull on you? Let me know! The best ones could possibly be illustrated in a future post!

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23 thoughts on “Things guys shouldn’t do

  1. But we’re sooooooooo charming and.. uhhhh.. IN SYNC with you… er… voluptuous ladies~! LOL

    I hate guys that walk into a room and cherry pick…. you know, the guys who come in and say to themselves in their head, “Oh man, I’m going to choose THAT girl and LOVE her NOW,” and even worse the guys who goes “OH MAN SHE’S GENERALLY FRIENDLY AND HAS HUNG OUT WITH ME FOR MORE THAN 2 HOURS, SHE MUST LOVE ME AS MUCH AS I ‘LOVE’ HER.”

    Note the selective use of parentheses within parentheses (pathenception?)

    Mostly because I think I used to be THAT guy…. and seriously… society nowadays has taken general attraction and love and made them, somehow, synonyms…

    My advice with dumb guys? Buy an iPod tazer.

    • iPod tazer? Sounds awesome. I need one.
      Man, I can’t even tell you… I have fallen victim to that second one (“SHE IS A GIRL WITH BOOBS AND HAS TALKED TO ME I AM IN LOVE AND SHE LOVES ME” WAY too many times. What do I do, stop being friendly? Because I DON’T LIKE IT!
      Though I haven’t been victim to the cherry picking. Thank goodness!

      • What to do to prevent socially inept idiots from taking your friendliness and canonizing it, huh? I guess you just make sure they know you’re just a nice person all around, I guess… that they’re not particularly special in that respect.

        I remember asking one of my older friends that question once… and she told me that I should stop being nice to people who don’t deserve overt niceness… or just roll with the punches and hope that the overt good in you allows the better in those around you to shine through….

        I like to think that if you’re just THAT awesome you become untouchable to a degree. VY YOU MUST EMBRACE YOUR INNER AWESOMENESS TO SURVIVE YOUR FETISH PROBING~!

  2. hmmm directing this at someone specific chica??

    Yo if the dude is good looking enough i don’t mind him spontaneously ripping off his clothes. LETS SEE DEM ABS!

    And also if a dude tells me my boobies look great im ecstatic to hear that cause my boobies ARE great! gotta appreciate yo.

    Jus saying. But otherwise i agree with yo words of wisdom!

  3. Okay, I had one heck of a tough weekend and about DIED laughing after reading this. Way to cheer me up! GUYS IN COLLEGE DO THIS STUFF. They’re not subtle or “tricky” like high school boys. They’re just…really…really…boyish. XD

    “YOU KNOW YOU WANT THIS”

  4. Ooooooo i got one….Or a million but we will start with one…. So some guy came up to me and was like, “whatcha drinking?”, and I’m like “orange soda”, and he’s like “what’s that taste like?” and I’m like “….orange soda….” and he’s like “thats SO cool, my friend sitting over on the couch would like to try some of your orange soda! Let me get him” *Here I start to walk away but he quickly grabs his equally awkward friend* “You wanna try some of her drink right???? *nudge nudge* The other guy was so confused and clearly not in on the play and just kept repeating what until I crept away and hid in the kitchen for the rest of my life….it was great…

  5. Pingback: Do you have BOYFRIEND? And other conversations with Japanese girls | I think in comics.

  6. The expressions on the third picture are HILARIOUS!

    Seriously though, some of these are just SHOCKING. Asking about fetishes? wtf? I’m glad I don’t have this sort of problem. As for the guy who thinks he’s observant, he’s dreaming! And I love the retort the girl uses! That girl has very justified anger, which I’d share under the same circumstances.

    Some of these guys are just so awkward, its beyond belief. I’m an awkward person just generally… but really??? It’s just desperate. I definitely hate the over-the-top, over-sexualised guys in these pictures more, though.

    The “assume it’s a date” one actually reminds me of The Big Bang Theory, when Leonard did that to Penny. Did you ever see that show? So yeah, some of those are a bit sad…

    • Haha I love the Big Bang Theory! I haven’t seen the episode you’re talking about, but I can totally imagine.
      Oh, I KNOW. Boys can be IDIOTS. Don’t get me wrong– guys can be intelligent, engaging, tactful, at least. I had a ton of guyfriends back in high school. But boys can be… just… what are they THINKING?
      Oh well. It happens. There’s a silver lining to every cloud, at least– that “fetishes” comment I received has become a running inside joke among my friends and I. Because it’s just so… so ridiculous…

  7. When I first read this, I was like, “Hey! Guys don’t act like- ?!… Well, maybe some of-… OK, many guys can… I don’t act like that, anyway!! All of these are hilarious, but, “you’re fine! Where I come from, we like girls with a little more meat on them!” That is the best! I can see guys saying all of these things!

    • All of these are taken from true stories! The one you quoted was actually said to me, by the same guy who asked what my fetishes are. As a girl, I have to say it: guys are weird!

      • I can’t believe it took me this long to think of it! These guys are like a very awkward and bad-acting Sanji. I mean, Sanji would go after every girl he sees, but he would do so in a manner of respectfulness (usually) and treat the lady with respect, NOT ASKING WHAT THEIR FETISHES ARE!! I MEAN, HOW STUPID CAN YOU BE! But then again, some of you girls can be

        • Sanji is a gentleman! Brook often asks to see girl’s panties, though… but it’s okay, since he’s Brook. And I agree, it goes both ways! There are just as many dumb girls as there are dumb guys (myself included) XD

          • Aren’t you taking/ or did take a bunch of honors classes, while having a job and volunteer work. Not exactly my def. of a dumb person. Remember “dumb people are always blissfully unaware of how dumb they really are.” Quote by Patrick Star

            • Well, I’m only taking one honors class this year. But you’re right, I still have a job and volunteer work. I’m dumb for trying to take on so many things at once! 😛

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