Being good at something is normally, well, good. It’s a skill to be used. Something to impress your friends. A testament to your relentless effort and practice. A way to get ahead in the world.

Usually.

Unless you’re like me, and your abilities lie somewhere outside the realm of impressive. More in the zone of… pointless.

Yes. I’m talking about useless talents. 

And I know there are those useless talents like, “I can lick my elbow!” or “I can burp the alphabet!” But at least those can get a rise during, say, a kindergarten class or a drunken party.

But I possess none of those. Hell, I couldn’t even snap my fingers until last year. Nope, being the comic-loving-video-game-playing-nerd that I am, my talents more often stem from my geekery. The results of, say, hours and hours of game addiction and obsession and procrastination. To the point where it is flat-out embarrassing.

What do I mean? I mean this: 

Yes, I was severely addicted to tetris battle last semester. Ask my roommate– it was horrendous. I would play forever as I tried to avoid studying. Clearing lines is infinitely more entertaining than memorizing ochem reactions, after all. And I have to say, I got pretty good. Too good. Not amazing– but far better than anyone should be at tetris. 

But that’s not the worst of it. My obvious attraction to video games was also revealed in Japan, when we went to a game center.

Yeah. I was pretty much asking for it. But… but… Dance Dance Revolution!

Thus my inner nerd shone through.

It’s not just video games, though. I have other talents too! Talents that sometimes get me in trouble.

Tetris? DDR? Drawing fat animals? None of that’s gonna get me jobs or good grades or friends. But it what’s I do. My unhandy, less-than-impressive, troublesome abilities. The results of getting hooked on games and avoiding studying. I almost feel like poor ol’ Calvin here…

I can relate.

What useless talents do you have? Let me know in the comments below!