In which I get asked out via LinkedIn.

About a week ago I received an disconcerting e-mail.

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To understand why this message is disconcerting, we need context.

The closest T station to my house is about a mile away. It’s a short distance, so I always walk. A couple months ago the green line was experiencing problems and they replaced the trains with bus service.

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The bus driver, who obviously had little idea of where she was going, dropped us off a few blocks away from the actual station, much to the confusion of the passengers. As we all headed off in what seemed like the right direction, a guy piped up behind me.

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I responded,

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Inadvertently, I had opened the door to further conversation. This kid also happened to be headed in the same direction as me, so he struck up some small talk.

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We talked for about 15 minutes before parting ways. The kid seemed eccentric but non-threatening; he was barely taller than me and much skinnier. He also seemed like a bit of a shy, awkward dude, but as an awkward flower myself I’m used to dealing with that type.

And that was that. Pretty standard.

The next morning I see an e-mail, forwarded to me from LinkedIn. The kid had somehow found my LinkedIn profile and sent me a message.

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I had forgotten that I had a LinkedIn account in the first place. Oh, ok, that kid, I thought. I sent him back a message of greetings…

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…and left it at that.

That was two months ago.

And that brings us to now, and this message:

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I should also say, about my LinkedIn account: there’s barely information on it beyond my name and my university. I know, I know, as a future professional I should keep it up-to-date. But I don’t even have a photo on there. And my name is, surprisingly, extremely common, so my LinkedIn isn’t exactly going to be at the top of any search.

I called my sister and asked her this:

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I hadn’t told him my last name, so finding my LinkedIn profile meant that he was actively searching for me on the wild wild Internet.

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This kid who I had talked to for about 15 minutes.

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Two months after talking to me once,ย completely out of nowhere, this kid was pretty much asking me on a date.

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All of this freaked me out a bit, so I went the path of the annoyingly passive girl and didn’t respond. A week later he messaged me again:

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This walk was going to be so quick that he needed two quicks.

But hey, you know, maybe I’m being unfair. From the girl’s perspective, it’s easy to write off a guy as creepy or weird. Maybe scouring the internet for someone’s LinkedIn profile is actually a normal thing. I mean, at least the guy had the balls to approach first. And really, why was I being so paranoid? It’s not like I have a history of attracting strange guys or anything.

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I guess this guy is another one for my list.

What do you think? To me, this is definitely skirting the line between “normal” and “creepy.” But that’s just me. Let me know your opinions in the comments!

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10 thoughts on “In which I get asked out via LinkedIn.

  1. Well, in comparison with the other approaches that you listed, I’d say it’s a more normal (go for a walk) through a slightly strange medium. Also: You appear to be the only Vy on Linkedin that attends your school. (Sorry, not trying to be creepy. You said there were a lot of people with your name and I wanted to check). I’m not saying go for it, but I don’t think it’s nearly as bad as you made it seem.

    I’d also say “maybe he just thought you were cool and wants to know you better” because that’s something that I might feel, but recently I’ve found that there aren’t nearly as many people like me as I thought. Good luck.

  2. I consider myself quite socially awkward and even I think this is weird. If he’d asked you at the end of that first walk whether you’d want to hang out again sometime, it’d have been more okayish. Still forward, but understandable. I think it’s the extra step of trolling the internet for you two months later that puts it in Creepy Country.

    But I’m also really bad with girls, so take everything I say with some dashes of salt.

    • I totally agree. The fact that he contacted me on LinkedIn was weird, but I can let that slide. The fact that he still remembered me two months later, and wanted to meet up, is just… well, I had a gut feeling that it wouldn’t end well, and I like to trust my intuition sometimes.

      Hey, but I’m really bad with boys. Maybe somebody else would have handled it differently.

  3. Hi Vy,

    the question is: Are you interested or just to shy to say No?

    If you are interested, meet him, but not for a walk, for a talk instead at a location of your choice. Then you go from there !

    RoBo

    • Hi RoBo,
      My sister’s boyfriend said the same thing: meet him at a public place, but not for a walk. I have to say, though, the LinkedIn approach has rendered me uninterested. ๐Ÿ˜›

  4. 99% of the time, you should trust your instincts.
    It seems weird to me, might not be, but still – doubt it’s worth the chance.
    Ask yourself, also, were you attracted to him? Doesn’t sound like it to me, so why take it back up just because he asks?
    Scott

    • Haha I admit, I wasn’t attracted to him. Even if I was, I would still think this was weird.
      And you’re right. I’m going to trust my instincts with this one. I’ve had enough awkward/obsessive boy encounters, and I don’t care to add another one to my list!

    • This is prime advice! That’s what my girlfriends always tell my guy friends: if you meet a girl and like her, get to know her first, and work your way towards asking her out. Don’t jump right to it, or you’ll scare her off!… which is what happened to me.

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